lessons to be learned from this year's oscar nominations

1. you have to weigh more than the statuette to be nominated. sorry keira knightley.

2. academy voters are heavily influenced by my aunt and her book club who really liked michael clayton because it reminded them of a michael chrichton book.

3.one child and one old bag must be nominated in a supporting role from now on.

4. any piece of shit with talking animals in it gets a best animated picture nod.

5. best visual effects category = always a bridesmaid, never a bride

watch this year's nominations